A Dirty secret diary..

I cheat! Yes, I cheat. Sometimes. . Not everytime. But yeah, I cheat.

I can’t keep my cravings in a giant box. Basically I don’t have that box. I chose not to have it. I don’t mind keeping my priorities juxtaposed with the means to the sins. Because if it exists, it exists for a reason, right? And if I have to share or have that act witnessed by someone I am not going to see in the future, I don’t mind that at all. If the other person didn’t enjoy the act, he would turn away. But No. He did not turn away this time.

I had a long day today at the office. While I was walking down towards home, I pondered over my intentions to commit a sinful act. On my way I bought a packet of different flavours from a drugstore. If at all it was needed in an emergency, I should have them with me. In fact, I always carry them with me wherever I go.

On reaching home I quickly took a refreshing bath and reached out to my favourite t shirt. It is brilliant yellow in colour. I took out the items I got from the drugstore and kept it on my table. Looking at them, I thought, “Should I do it tonight? I have to go to work tomorrow. What if I wake up tired?” It wasn’t making any sense to me at that moment and I chose to act on it. I picked up my phone and I dialed the number to seek my favourite partner in crime. In about 15 minutes, the joyous reason was home.

Before I wanted to start to quench the thirst of my craving, I wanted some actual water. I went to the kitchen for a glass of water and then opened my window. It was dark outside with few lights burning behind the windows of the houses across the street. I turned and reached out to my sinful companion and unzipped it from it’s last hiding veil and started to lick it like I had never before. As I was spreading it over the source of my satisfaction, I saw a man outside the window staring at me from his balcony. He was waiting for me to finish what I had started. To give a blow to his imaginations, I thought to shut the window. But acted against it. I thought that it was obvious that he was enjoying the show and I might never see him again. Because I had never seen him before. Sometimes I tend to make stupid decisions when my sinful companion is in my mind and hands.

I continued to enjoy and he continued to stare and seem creepy. I licked it with my fingers and it’s flavours started to flirt with my tastebuds. Then I spread it and squeezed on it the elixir that gives life to that sinful act. On having completed the preparations for the next stage, I cut it in half and served it on a plate for myself. The thick fluid like blood oozed out. It was just as warm as I wanted. Then I ate that chocolate sandwich like a baby. I poured more maple syrup on it and man, I was LOVING IT. The creep outside the window was still staring at me. I was about to finish when I thought, enough for tonight and I shut the window. I had the whole loaf of bread with the chocolate spread and the maple syrup and I thought, what ifs. . After 15 minutes when my stomach started to ache with discontent, I reached out to the emergency supply of gastric satchets I got from the drugstore and consumed three quarters of it. Gluttony is a sin.

Oh God, this is one of the most amazing and at the same time, a regretful experience one can ever have. I am not supposed to cheat on my diet and my resolutions but I think I may come back to this friend again.

N

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